On Saturday, I plan to dip my toes into ancestor veneration for the first time.
What I’d like to know is, anyone who honors their ancestors or works with the dead in any type of way, how did you introduce yourself if it was someone you did not know in life? What offerings did you leave? How did the relationship develop after that?
I know these answers could easily vary from person-to-person, which is why I am curious. I am eager to hear a myriad of stories from anyone and everyone willing to share anything about this aspect of their practice.
Tagging @nicstoirm because I think you do this? But if I am wrong, maybe you know someone who does. ;u;
Hello my friend~ Sorry it took me a few days to get to this post! Been rather busy with school haha.
Anywho. Ancestor veneration! For me, I am in a very distant relationship with my ancestors – all of them: I honor my family ancestors, the ancestors of Ireland and Irish Polytheism, and the Queer Ancestors. My practice mainly consists of me giving offerings on the appropriate holidays and not developing beyond that. But recently I got a message from one of my grandfathers during an unrelated reading I was doing, so I think I should try to do more.
The offers I leave vary. It’s sometimes incense, sometimes food, sometimes just water. It’s often just whatever I have on hand haha. And it’s, again, infrequent which doesn’t really build a relationship.
I’m going to tag @themodernsouthernpolytheist since I know he does some stuff with Ancestor Veneration and may be able to give more insights!
Sorry, it’s been a long week and I’m in an incredibly goofy mood, lol. So, ancestor veneration. You’re definitely right that it can look very different across different traditions and even between practitioners of the same or similar traditions, so I’ll talk about my personal experiences.
It can be tough to start. One of my big hangups was that my family have been devoutly and conservatively Protestant for as long as we have memory. The specific flavor has varied, but my mom’s cousin who married a Catholic was absolutely SCANDALOUS, so the thought of engaging them as a Polytheist frankly freaked me out. But it’s gone really well. I haven’t had any negative experiences, but I’ve also largely worked with ancestors as a whole, most of whom feel like Ye Olde Ancestore rather than more recent ones. That’s my next step. I’ve done some guided meditation type stuff that involved my grandfather who passes last year, but that’s it with him so far. Part of that is also because it was totally unexpected and the whole thing is still really raw for me, but that’s only part of it. So, that might be the place to start: with ancestors as a broad category.
The other part of my ancestors that I work with are Queer ancestors. Tbh, they were the first ones I approached, the ones I knew would understand. I honor them because their existence, openness, and sacrifice allow me to be who I am today. I want to be that person for future generations. And I’ve started a tradition of honoring all those killed each year on the anniversary of the Pulse Massacre. This past year was the 2nd year and it’s a tradition I feel really strongly about. Point being, creating a specific day in your religious calendar may be something to think about, too.
And don’t forget an ancestor shrine! It can be as simple as a candle sat in a corner dedicated to them or as extra as I like to be, lol. My dining room is covered in framed photos of family, both living and deceased. I have my grandfather’s pocket watch on the wall. I have the painting of a skull one of my closest friends made for me. And I have floating shelves around the room for candles and other things to sit. This is also where Manannán mac Lir and Donn’s shrines live given their associations with the dead.
So, these are my ideas and a few of my experiences. I hope it helps, but feel free to ask me follow-ups!
I want to address how to introduce yourself because I was about 300% more stressed about that when I started than I needed to be! I do honour family ancestors but mostly focus on Trans ancestors, so the majority of my ancestral practice is based around people I didn’t know during their lives.
Honestly what I’ve usually done is light a candle, make some tea as an offering (I am very British, that’s the first offering that springs to mind 99% of the time – if tea would feel weird to you then go for something else), sit down and just say ‘Hello, my name is X, I’ve made you some tea’ and then go on to tell them a little bit about who I am and why I’m talking to them. What you get from that point varies – I’ve found that some people don’t want me bothering them, which is fair enough, that some enjoy a bit of conversation, that some don’t mind me being there but also wouldn’t mind if I wasn’t. People are varied after death just as they are before death. So my advice really would be to start, and then see what they seem to want. The dead can make their preferences known, if you’re prepared to listen.
Candlelight-magick 