Welcome to the next level y’all I’m on tumblr on my tv
Tag: hell mouth
My mom: [leaves me in the car for five minutes]
Me: [has an existential crisis, discovers the secrets of the universe, and realizes that I’m unlovable]
My dash did a thing
Why was I cursed with Aries sun and Scorpio moon
Me: [opens the notes on a funny post looking for funny add ons]
The notes: On the contrary, being in a relationship with a serial killer doesn’t make you a serial killer. You haven’t murdered anyone. It doesn’t even make you a bad person because love is pure and innocent, and my point is serial killer lovers are valid uwu~ so @dildointhemicrowave leave sk lovers alone
Me, deleting Tumblr from my phone: [whispers] what the fuck
Y’all I’m fuckingnngngn the ™ © and ® are emojis. They’re fucknung emojis and I never noticed what the fuck whta th duck ™™™™™™™™®®®®®©©©©©
My dad is showing me Deadpool “for the first time.” “For the first time,” as in, I’ve already seen it twice and now I have to pretend that the movie is as hilarious as I found it the first time
For the life of me, I have never understood what “houses” are in astrology. How many are there? Are they the zodiac signs? Why does every time I look them up, every website assumes I already know what houses are and tells me exactly nothing? What the fu
Zoned out in science class bc I was thinking of the biceps on women from American ninja warrior
I hate football but I really love that NFL fantasy commercial bc women in suits
Candlelight-magick 