cutestrology:

Aries: “let me see what you have” “A KNIFE” “NO!” / Kevin watch the light

Taurus: I don’t have enough money to buy chicken nugget / I don’t know why you’re in a big time rush

Gemini: two bros, chillin in a hot tub, 5 feet apart cuz they’re not gay / I ain’t get no sleep cuz of y’all

Cancer: hi welcome to chilis / you are my dad

Leo: hey…. I want to be famous / why are you running?

Virgo: road work ahead? Yeah, I sure hope it does / anything for you beyonce

Libra: LIPSTICK IN MY VALENTINO WHITE BAG / I said whoever threw that paper, your mom’s a hoe

Scorpio: ah fuck, I can’t believe you’ve done this / LOOK WHAT I BOUGHT

Sagittarius: back at it again at krispy kreme / *drinks soda* fuck you 

Capricorn: is there anything better than pussy? Yes a really good book / you’re just gonna get me a birthday gift on my birthday

Aquarius: shawty i don’t… MIND / ninki minjaj

Pisces: you know this boy got his free taco / oovoo javer