peoples-defense:

acemindbreaker:

titaniumelemental:

fierceawakening:

peoples-defense:

sometimes i read or skim arguments/talking points with the sense that like…..you’re thinking way too hard about this. like not in a dismissive way, not “you just wasted your time lol what a loser go outside”, it’s more like “why are people being made to think SO DEEPLY about shit that doesn’t matter”.

something that seriously pisses me off is people who say stuff along the lines of “if you do/like/think X then think really hard about why you do” like 1) don’t tell me what to do 2) maybe i have thought really hard about it and this is how i feel afterwards 3) ITS NOT THAT DEEP

this is in all sorts of discourse and honestly it reeks of the guys i met in high school who tried to convince me i wasn’t really attracted to women cause they always told me to think about why i like women instead of men (i ID’d as a genderqueer lesbian back then) and if i said i had they’d tell me to think harder. they didn’t care about me. they just wanted me to not be gay. they just wanted me to be available to them.

people who tell you to think hard about some random aspect about you are not being ingenious. they are not encouraging self discovery. they just want you to admit that they are right and you are wrong because eventually you’ll run out of arguments and statements you’ve rehashed a thousand times and just get mad and then they’ll use your anger against you.

y’all. IT AINT THAT DEEP. queer discourse? it’s faster and easier than saying “nonbinary genderfluid and bi” and encompasses my identities and beyond. for me, that’s it. i’ve typed out paragraphs on why i use the word but it all boils down to that.

shipping discourse? sometimes we just fucking like things and it doesn’t mean shit in our brains because brains are funky things we still don’t understand. i’m not going to dive deep into the inner mechanisms of my psyche because i like a ship with dubcon elements. it’s not that fucking serious. you’re not going to catch me engaging with a lot of “reasons why shipping x is okay” because i’ve grown up with weird ships and characters ever since i was 10 and hey, look at me, i’m queer and mentally ill but i’ve never fucking killed anyone like i apparently would have done if fiction really was at a 1:1 ratio with reality. the irony is that so many shipping arguments are bunk if you use your goddamn brain for ten seconds and engage in some nuance and critical thinking for once.

ace discourse?? “think really hard about why you ID as ace”?? because they don’t experience sexual attraction you utter walnut. and whether that’s due to trauma or internalized xphobia or what, it’s nobody’s fucking business aside from that person.

all these people are doing are trying to worm their gross ideologies into your head and make you doubt who you are. when i was younger i fell into these traps and came out like “okay i thought about it and i still like this so what now,” and they don’t have answers beyond that. because it’s a subtle guilt trip to get you to admit that you’re a liar, that you’re actually cis/straight/not mentally ill/<insert other identity aspect here> because how dare you exist as one of those people.

ugh. that’s my semi-legible rant of the day, the point being that nobody is allowed to dictate or determine my identity aside from me and sometimes therapists, and people who try to guilt people into hating themselves over dumb arbitrary shit can fuck off forever.

It’s radical feminist influence from what I can tell. Started with telling kinky people to examine their desires and ballooned from there.

people who tell you to think hard about some random aspect about you are not being ingenious. they are not encouraging self discovery. they just want you to admit that they are right

And the thing is, examining that sort of stuff can be a good thing, if you’re up for it. I’ve put a lot of thought into what my kinks are and why I might have these particular kinks and how my kinks work. And I love when other people do the same sort of analysis. (Honestly, I’d be fascinated to hear a lesbian try to go into an in-depth analysis of why they’re attracted to women and not men.)

But they don’t want the kind of analysis I’ve done, because it hasn’t led me to decide to stop being kinky. Firstly, because you can’t just analyze your way into a new sexuality. And secondly, because my analysis has led me to be more accepting of my kinks rather than less, and more likely to act on them because I have a clearer idea of which SSC activities might twig my kinks and how to do them.

And I certainly don’t think it should be obligatory to analyze your preferences. Your beliefs, yes. Unexamined beliefs are very prone to being wrong. But preferences aren’t right or wrong, they just are.

i agree! i’m a very introspective person, idk about y’all, but i spend a LOT of time thinking about myself. examining yourself is good for you, as long as you’re doing it because YOU want to, because you WANT to.

if you want to analyze your kinks/gender/sexuality/etc, that’s great! go for it! i do it all the time, especially as someone with fluid identities. and yes, absolutely examine your beliefs and work on the bigotry and stereotypes in your brain. we all have them. it’s very important to stamp out bigoted opinions.

there’s a huge difference between “question yourself to learn more about yourself” and “question yourself to the point of insecurity and self hatred/doubt because i don’t like something about you and your labels.” i’m glad that a lot of people can recognize the difference between these.